here are the comment : Thank you very much for taking advantage of the opportunity to submit your draft work for review.
I have now had an opportunity to review your submission and, overall, some challenges do exist with the quality of your work.
The written work shows basic understanding of issues and insights into the field of study.
The related literatures review demonstrates basic critical competence. I appreciate your hard work in accessing a wide body of literature, this is positive. On the other hand, you might consider including core readings for this module.
Overall, you show little development of ideas in the application of knowledge.
Understanding and evaluation of the evidence base was adequate.
Understanding of how established techniques of research and enquiry are used to interpret knowledge appeared to be somewhat basic.
Your handling, presenting and inferring from the evidence was rather rudimentary.
The work showed some clarity, focus and competence in the presentation of arguments and conclusions.
Generally, I hope that you will agree with me that the biggest challenge for your work is presentation and language. Please make absolutely certain that you proofread the final work prior to submission. In certain places, language appears to be so ambiguous that it makes very little sense. In some places, the text even reads as if it has been the result of automatic software translation, which is problematic. This is not ideal, especially for an external reader/examiner who might not be familiar with the rest of your portfolio work. Please ensure that the presentation is as polished as possible, so that you can communicate your arguments to their fullest potential. You have plenty of time to ensure that the final work is going to be OK and that language and presentation have been addressed. Please ensure that you invest a bit of that time in order to enhance the quality of the work.
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