Please follow the instruction to revise the essay and mark places that has been revised.
Your research is strong and you display a lot of understanding and knowledge in your paper.
However, you need a lot more FOCUS. You have a very general title and you present your information in a general textbook way instead of focusing on a particular important issue. For example, you start out with several paragraphs citing the same source, It’s almost like a full report on that particular source. There are other places in your draft that you spend too much time on one source, fully reporting on what that one source has to say before moving on to the next source.
You need to figure out which issue in your paper is an important issue that you can engage your audience with–that they will be connected to and feel that it is important to know about. For example, instead of explaining all the details of how AI has been impacting math modeling, you could start with why math modeling is important–like in helping to predict the development of pandemics. Your readers would immediately connect to this topic because everyone understands that improved predictions in pandemics can save lives and help policy makers contain them better. If you focus on that as an example of WHY MATH MODELING MATTERS, then you can move on to briefly explain how math models work and how AI can improve their ability to help make predictions in public health that is so important to everyone.
Basically, you need to find a way of focusing all of your information here in a way that it would matter to your readers and they would see how important AI and math models are to their own health and well-being.
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