please respond with 200 words aaron
1. Is conflict good or bad for a relationship? How can it be good? How can it be bad?
Conflict exists in every relationship, so saying it is good or bad for it is moot. Rather, it is how we deal with the conflict that determines its overall benefit or hindrance to the relationship. But, it is good to keep in mind that any form of conflict does pose a potential advantage because it helps identify problem areas in the relationship. Now, as previously mentioned, dealing with the conflict is critical to the effect on the relationship. To elaborate, if a person wishes for a particular action to subside and the other party is willing to collaborate to find a mutual win-win scenario for both parties, then we have a good outcome from the conflict. However, if the solution nets a lose-lose or win-lose, then the conflict was harmful to the relationship.
2. How can observing nonverbal communication help you know if a conflict is constructive or destructive?
We can observe nonverbal communication to indicate whether a conflict is constructive or destructive by trying to understand the meaning behind the nonverbal behavior. For instance, if you are trying to politely explain your view on an issue and the other person is shrugging or rolling their eyes then you can see that their response is destructive. On the other side, if they were maintaining eye contact and engaging in active listening then the conflict is constructive.
3. When we are in conflict with someone, what is more important, what we say or how we day it?
More often then not my wife tells me, “its not what you said, it is how you said it,” followed shortly by an argument. So, I will have to agree that it is how you say things, which is something I try harder now to display accurately. I have been described as rather emotionless in my speech making it difficult for people to identify when I am being sarcastic or sincere leading to some conflict. Thus, by trying to clearly and accurately express my feelings, or at least the meaning, behind a statement, like smiling while saying good job, has helped improve some of the confusion.
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