Writing requirement:
Essay 1 Final Draft
Purpose:
Your Essay 1 Final Draft represents the culmination of our work during the first half of the course and intended to demonstrate your progress toward meeting or exceeding each of course learning outcomes.
- describe and practice writing as a multi-faceted process of inquiry, learning, and expression;
- practice writing as a social process through compassionate and critical response to your peers’ work and revision of your own writing in response to peer and instructor feedback;
- practice ethical argumentation in discussion and writing through open and curious engagement with multiple perspectives;
- develop audience awareness and practice respectful treatment of audience in accomplishing your writing purposes;
- identify and critically apply style conventions for writing in an academic context.
Task:
Revision of the Personal Narrative Argumentative Essay & Grading Criteria
Revision means “seeing again. ” Therefore, you’ll look at your essay with fresh eyes and add to, extend, clarify, and generally make the essay a better essay.
Revisit/review Week 4 Homework Module and the two PPT lectures. Use that information and the peer and instructor comments to do the following:
- The narrative essay should be revised by reshaping, extending, clarifying, or transforming your ideas and organization. It is not just “corrected”, touched up, or lightly copy edited. Consider: Does the essay need more scenes? More clarity and specificity in the language? Does it need more “showing”? Is the thesis clear, whether implied or stated outright? Is there something important that’s been left out, such as a character or dialogue? Would the essay work better if its sequencing of scenes or its structure changed? Is the beginning paragraph (or first line) compelling enough? Does the end leave readers with a feeling of satisfaction, a strong takeaway?
- In order to be “complete,” your revised second draft of the essay must be significantly revised and restructured based on peer, instructor, and tutor feedback, and your own new ideas.
- As a final step, the essay should be proofread and corrected;
- And the heading should be revised to reflect the correct date and assignment
- The essay must meet all of the criteria for Essay 1, including page count and narrative elements. (See the original assignment in Week 3 Homework module). In short, the essay must be taken to a higher level and demonstrate your learning in this unit.
Essay 1.2 (Narrative Argumentative Essay Final Draft) is due Sunday, October 25 by 11:59pm.
GRADING CRITERIA
- Essay 1.2 meets the word/page count.
- Formatting conforms to Written Work Guidelines.
- The revision demonstrates that time and attention has been paid to Weeks 1-4 course material, readings, discussions and Zoom classes.
- The revision takes into account some of the peers’ and instructor’s critique advice.
- It is apparent that the essay has been revised, not just touched up or edited.
- The essay is an original revision of essay 1.1, and it has been written only for this WR 122 class
Here is my professor’s comment “
Below are some observations and pieces of advice about your essay.
**See also my many other comments and pieces of advice in the margins of this essay.
Page 2- the scene with the babysitter could be expanded to make a specific scene with some dialogue to show rather than tell
Page 3: format dialogue correctly: new paragraph, new speaker. Indent new paragraphs. See the PPT in Week 3 modules, narrative essay. near the end of the PPT, you’ll get some information about using dialogue.
I really like your essay and feel it elicits a lot of pathos. Each instance you describe moves toward your thesis. There are some places that you can make even stronger by putting some specific scenes in place, or making your scenes more specific. You convincingly show how debilitating poverty is. In my marginal comments, I marked some areas that could benefit by a specific scenes or a representative one.
Use active verb voice for even more impact. Passive verb voice is most often used in scientific writing. I marked some areas in the essay.
If any questions, please email me to set up a Zoom conference. I have some time on Friday.
NOTE: Formatting: Get rid of extra space between paragraphs, so the essay is double-spaced throughout.”
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