medical school personal statement need to be finalized with a conclusion written/fixed. better transition words, I need it to flow please. 4500 character max

My personal statement need to be :

1- within 4500 character limi ( am above that)

2- better english ( more fancy/scientific words) and better transition words. I need words that can describe a whole sentence. I have some run-ons

3- I need it to flow better, way better. so it looks like a story.

4- If you feel there are extra information, let’s talk about removing it

5- I need a better conclusion, a better closing.

6- I also need better way to close my paragraph. ( all paragraphs need to show some quality in me, referring to the story told)

PLEASE MAKE IT FLOW BETTER, I NEED TO SUBMIT ASAP

P.S. my school is UC riverside but it was not on the search. If that changes anything.