I hope you’re enjoying the break. I looked at your paper and it is honestly very difficult to read. The organization and main ideas are fine, and I would change your thesis slightly to something like this to make it clearer: “Fueled by ready markets in western countries, ISIS has turned the sale of stolen artifacts looted from archaeological sites in Syria and Iraq into their main source of income.”
The main problem with the paper overall is that it looks like you wrote it in Arabic and had google translate put it into English. This does not work.
The only thing I can suggest you do is go through the paper as it is and fix it up to read better in English. There are lots of awkward, archaic turns of phrase and passages that are just not clear because it was not written in English. It has to be in your own English for me to grade it – I don’t know how to grade it otherwise, since this is not exactly in your own words!
0 comments