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Need the following revisions made to attached document, essay 3.
Note: This is NOT a revision of Microtask 4, but a revision of Essay 3, which is based off the info provided for MT4.
Teacher comments:
-Weisner source needs to be changed.
-Need more concrete evidence to back up each claim
-begin or end each paragraph with a claim
-she kept taking about how there is no man in the photograph and we are talking about masculinity – take out masculinity and focus more on the women (this is a stupid point, but the teacher is arguing that the essay can’t be focused on masculinity if there is no man and will not change her opinion).
– work from the photograph out
-women is not a race
For each body paragraph
-Analyze evidence through lenses
– draw a conclusion linking to the thesis
-Introduce a lens and evidence
-make sure to start every paragraph with a claim
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